February 16, 2009
Dear Diary,
I don't' get it, its Monday and we haven't left yet! I can't believe her if she got a new backpack I will be pissed especially after all that we've been threw. She has the nerve to leave me sitting here for days apron end. Barred under endless amounts of clothes forgotten till probably her new backpack breaks.When will she finally find me again? What will become of me? A checkered backpack with no purpose but to take up space in this already clutter filled room. After getting tossed around while looking for something better she was my only hope of becoming free. I don't know what will happen now, will i ever be used or will the scarp pieces of paper that i contain will become nothing by meaningless garage to her mother. Will the contents of me be gone before i can be a year old or will she finally come to her senses. My life is not impossible I'm not broken or damage I just don't get what she wants form me? I just don't get her, why does this relationship have to be so
complicated can't she get over the whatever she thinks is wrong with me. Wait Diary do you think its over that small thing that
happened a few weeks ago? It couldn't be or could it. No she shouldn't still be mad, its
defiantly over something else she
probably didn't have school or something like that, I know her she wouldn't replace me. Right Diary, she would never do that to me, we have been threw a lot
togeather. It will work itself out, I shouldn't be worrying about this, she will come back. I know that she couldn't walk away from me and everything we've been threw.
February 17, 2009
Dear Diary,
She didn't' leave me, it was just one of those dreadful long weekends where i don't get touched for quite a few days. I can't believe how idiotic I was that I didn't think of a long weekend. Don't worry Diary I didn't miss a beat, when she swung me over her shoulder it felt like i was never out of commission. Even though the books are getting to be pretty heavy now a days but I can handle the weight no matter how much it seems to hurt me. I carried the weight with grace and joy but, I can't believe how much we did today, with going from class to class be thrown here and there. I am always being used no matter how much she seems to be tossing me away. I will always there for her, threw the rain, sun, and even snow. You know Diary it hasn't always been like this, there once was a time where she treated me like gold. This isn't a joke I was the center of her world, she would bring me everywhere. It seems now I'm just another ordinary backpack, no longer the center of her world. I wonder if its because I've gotten older of if its because she saw someone else in the hallway with the same backpack. It baffles me to see other packs that are now the center of their owners world, why can't that be us again Diary? What ever happened to forgive and forget? I know she isn't over what I did but you understand that I had to do it. Please Diary tell that you understand why I had to do that? She is using me
again so
that's a good sign right? I'm so lost Diary, I just really need her come back to me full
heartily not the way its been because at this rate she'll really get a new backpack.
February 18, 2009
Dear Dairy,
Today I felt useless and
useful at the same time, is that really possible even though that is how i felt. I know she is trying to punish me for what I have done but not taking the car to school on a day like today was punishment
enough. I can't believe how bad the
weather was for her not to keep me safe and dry but i guess I did
deserve it in a way. When we did finally made it to school it was like i was gold
again I didn't spend one moment on the floor unlike every other day. I wasn't tossed, wasn't
squished , and even wasn't
thrown in the halls. It was one of best worst days I've ever had. No matter how bad the weather got on the way home I was used
rightfully today. I'll explain Diary, the good part of the day started when she placed me on
desks and chairs
instead of the dirty carpet and floor. It was almost as if she cared about me getting dirty
again. It was truly a break through for are relationship, even if it was just for today. The next big event in the day
happened at lunch when she took me to watch volleyball , It was
truly the high point of the day even though we were
separated for the longest time. I sat proudly beside some great people who seemed to know who i belonged to and made sure I was well taken care of. With the action of the volley ball games it was a perfect lunch time, when the bell
finally rang i knew it was back to work. Even in the afternoon classes I was treated like gold, and others
seemed to take notice to the
attention. This felt like the
beginning again when all the other packs would look at me in envy when she carried me around. I felt like I was truly me
again and i haven 't felt like that since
before the you know what. Even though the walk home was
worse then
before I
realized that she can't control the
weather and walking in it isn't a punishment, its just how she gets to school from time to time. All in all Diary it was a pretty alright day, I just wish that you could have been there to see the turn around.
February 19, 2009
Dear Diary,
Today started out the same as yesterday, just this time i had no friends to walk with. It was just me and her except the bimbo of an I
pod who always keeps moving around on her. I
haven't seen her for weeks and all of a sudden she is the main focus of Sarah's day, it is totally unfair. I'm the one
that's there every day, I'm the one that is more useful, and I'm the one that helps her threw every part of her day. It just doesn't seem fair that the only alone time that I get with Sarah that
Ipod took it all. Well
I'm over it you know i can't hold a grudge, well at lest not
against Sarah. Anyways first period felt like never ending especially when all she seemed to be doing was pointless work. When the period finally ended we went to her second class and you know what that teacher did to me?! She took me off the desk and threw me on the floor like I was a
piece of trash or something. I can't believe it but you
know what Sarah was the to pick me up and dust me off. This made me feel better about are relationship, she made me feel like gold
again. That is what makes me believe that we are okay and will have a long happy relationship even if we do make mistakes I know now that she will always forgive me in time. Diary you know that I'm seeming
selfish but you know that with out Sarah there would be no Diary.